Infertility
Ro
I should have: a 13 yr old; a 12 yr old; a 10 yr old; a 9 yr old; and a 8 yr old.
My story might not be as dramatic as others’ but it’s my story. I am a Type 1 diabetic, something I’ve dealt with for the past for 30 years. I always dreamed with a big family, as I'm the only female of 5 children- I wanted to keep the tradition alive. Read more
I should have: a 13 yr old; a 12 yr old; a 10 yr old; a 9 yr old; and a 8 yr old.
My story might not be as dramatic as others’ but it’s my story. I am a Type 1 diabetic, something I’ve dealt with for the past for 30 years. I always dreamed with a big family, as I'm the only female of 5 children- I wanted to keep the tradition alive. Read more
Julie Potter, LCSW
1. You started the Infertility Counseling Center after being diagnosed with secondary infertility. Can you talk about what this process has been like for you?
Waiting for years to have baby number 2 was really hard for me. After 4 failed IUIs (Intrauterine Insemination) I thought I had hit my lowest point. But then I had 2 failed FETs (Frozen Embryo Transfers), and those were some of the most difficult experiences I’ve had. After that, my husband and I decided to take a treatment break for a while, which was very healing for me. During that time I started seriously thinking about starting a practice where I could help others who had gone through those emotionally difficult experiences. I knew I always wanted to run a therapy practice; the MSW (Master’s of Social Work) program I attended had a clinical focus, and I spent hours providing therapy, which I loved. I’ve always wanted to return to that, and everything seemed to fall in place. I knew that with my training/education/professional experience, and my personal experience of struggling with infertility, I could help others. That’s my hope: to help other people experiencing infertility find the peace I’ve found. Read more
Tim Antonides, Rain: A Novel
Rain: A Novel, is the most honest portrayal of infertility that I’ve ever read. What motivated you to write this story?
After my wife Monica and I experienced our first failed IVF cycle, I began to scribble notes in a journal. It began as a way to document what we were going through, but it ended up becoming a vehicle through which to process the profound and confusing emotions that erupted during the remaining four cycles we did: the hope, grief, anger, bitterness, envy, and everything else that came with the entire process. Those notes became a short story, which eventually became a novel. In the end, my motivation became two-fold: To write a great story and to take the reader into a world that isn’t talked about very much, particularly among men. Read more
Rain: A Novel, is the most honest portrayal of infertility that I’ve ever read. What motivated you to write this story?
After my wife Monica and I experienced our first failed IVF cycle, I began to scribble notes in a journal. It began as a way to document what we were going through, but it ended up becoming a vehicle through which to process the profound and confusing emotions that erupted during the remaining four cycles we did: the hope, grief, anger, bitterness, envy, and everything else that came with the entire process. Those notes became a short story, which eventually became a novel. In the end, my motivation became two-fold: To write a great story and to take the reader into a world that isn’t talked about very much, particularly among men. Read more
Carrie Alexander, Thank You, Hormones
The title of your blog section about your infertility experience is "Thank You Hormones." Can you explain why you chose that title?
It came from a place of deep bitterness! Which I assume is where lots of good ideas come. My whole life was lined up for me to be a mom. Everything was ready to go. But these hormones would not cooperate. I want to cuss about it – they would not fucking cooperate. I looked like the picture of health and yet every month – nothing. As we got deeper in to the world of infertility I felt like my body was my biggest enemy. It was like talking a bad employee into doing the most basic tasks – this body was what I needed to create a healthy life and this body, and specifically the hormones, were making me a crazy person and making a crappy situation exponentially worse. Read more
The title of your blog section about your infertility experience is "Thank You Hormones." Can you explain why you chose that title?
It came from a place of deep bitterness! Which I assume is where lots of good ideas come. My whole life was lined up for me to be a mom. Everything was ready to go. But these hormones would not cooperate. I want to cuss about it – they would not fucking cooperate. I looked like the picture of health and yet every month – nothing. As we got deeper in to the world of infertility I felt like my body was my biggest enemy. It was like talking a bad employee into doing the most basic tasks – this body was what I needed to create a healthy life and this body, and specifically the hormones, were making me a crazy person and making a crappy situation exponentially worse. Read more
Amira Posner, MSW
After four months of trying to conceive our second child, intuitively I knew there was a problem. After five months of trying to conceive, my anxiety was so high that I managed to get us an appointment at the fertility clinic.
At our initial consult, the doctor told us that we had showed up early. He was very hopeful for us since our daughter was under two years old and we had conceived her effortlessly. I remember the doctor also commenting on a palpable tension he could sense between my husband and me. This doctor was so on the ball. My darling husband wasn't ready to be at the clinic. He didn't think we had a problem. Well, after an hour discussion, we all agreed to start with the doctor's help and proceed slowly. Read more
After four months of trying to conceive our second child, intuitively I knew there was a problem. After five months of trying to conceive, my anxiety was so high that I managed to get us an appointment at the fertility clinic.
At our initial consult, the doctor told us that we had showed up early. He was very hopeful for us since our daughter was under two years old and we had conceived her effortlessly. I remember the doctor also commenting on a palpable tension he could sense between my husband and me. This doctor was so on the ball. My darling husband wasn't ready to be at the clinic. He didn't think we had a problem. Well, after an hour discussion, we all agreed to start with the doctor's help and proceed slowly. Read more
T., 37
We got pregnant almost right away when we started trying for a family, but unfortunately that ended in a miscarriage. After the miscarriage, we tried and tried but couldn’t get pregnant again. It was somewhere between 9 months to a year after the miscarriage that we started working with fertility specialists.
So began a long and difficult journey. We got a bunch of testing done, spoke with multiple Reproductive Endocrinologists and went right to IVF, as I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve. Our 2 IVF cycles didn’t work and left me gutted. We picked up the pieces as best we could, consulted with a couple more clinics and decided on a clinic closer to home. We attempted 2 more IVF cycles but didn’t get the medications right and they both ended up quickly turning into IUIs. We then decided to try some more IUIs because I seemed to respond well to them. I lost count, but we tried maybe 7 or 8 IUIs until I finally got pregnant, about 4 long years after my miscarriage. Read more
We got pregnant almost right away when we started trying for a family, but unfortunately that ended in a miscarriage. After the miscarriage, we tried and tried but couldn’t get pregnant again. It was somewhere between 9 months to a year after the miscarriage that we started working with fertility specialists.
So began a long and difficult journey. We got a bunch of testing done, spoke with multiple Reproductive Endocrinologists and went right to IVF, as I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve. Our 2 IVF cycles didn’t work and left me gutted. We picked up the pieces as best we could, consulted with a couple more clinics and decided on a clinic closer to home. We attempted 2 more IVF cycles but didn’t get the medications right and they both ended up quickly turning into IUIs. We then decided to try some more IUIs because I seemed to respond well to them. I lost count, but we tried maybe 7 or 8 IUIs until I finally got pregnant, about 4 long years after my miscarriage. Read more
Infertility- I Hear It's Hard On Her, Too
Admit it, fellow husbands, you stabbed your wife at one point or another. It’s fine. I’ve been there. Don’t turn yourself into the police.
This wounding on an emotional level, of course, hurting our wives sometimes the only release for the impotent rage marriage can bring. I have felt this anger. You have, too. Because you are only human.
But one day you might find yourself about to plunge needle into flesh, and I will tell you there is a moment when you will hesitate, when your arm is raised, your thumb depressing the plunger clawed in your shaking hand, your wife, face-down on the carpet you have not vacuumed in a month, eyes closed and face averted because she will not witness needle pierce buttocks. You will hesitate because this is an unnatural act. You will hesitate because husbands should not drive cold steel into the flesh of the women they love. Read more
Admit it, fellow husbands, you stabbed your wife at one point or another. It’s fine. I’ve been there. Don’t turn yourself into the police.
This wounding on an emotional level, of course, hurting our wives sometimes the only release for the impotent rage marriage can bring. I have felt this anger. You have, too. Because you are only human.
But one day you might find yourself about to plunge needle into flesh, and I will tell you there is a moment when you will hesitate, when your arm is raised, your thumb depressing the plunger clawed in your shaking hand, your wife, face-down on the carpet you have not vacuumed in a month, eyes closed and face averted because she will not witness needle pierce buttocks. You will hesitate because this is an unnatural act. You will hesitate because husbands should not drive cold steel into the flesh of the women they love. Read more
Kristy, Prosecco and Palm Trees
I got married to my husband at 34 and had been anxious about starting a family because I was a bit older. So, when we didn’t conceive in the first half year, I went to my OBGYN. Given my age, to be safe she sent me to a fertility specialist to do a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). That’s a test where they basically run dye into your uterus and scan with an abdominal device so they check to see if your fallopian tubes are properly connected to your ovaries, among other things. I went into that appointment thinking it would be but a routine pit stop to getting a script for Clomid and it would be easy, peasy. Before I stepped off that table, I learned that I had a unicornuate uterus and only one of two ovaries was connected, and I would have a very difficult time conceiving on my own. Read more
I got married to my husband at 34 and had been anxious about starting a family because I was a bit older. So, when we didn’t conceive in the first half year, I went to my OBGYN. Given my age, to be safe she sent me to a fertility specialist to do a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). That’s a test where they basically run dye into your uterus and scan with an abdominal device so they check to see if your fallopian tubes are properly connected to your ovaries, among other things. I went into that appointment thinking it would be but a routine pit stop to getting a script for Clomid and it would be easy, peasy. Before I stepped off that table, I learned that I had a unicornuate uterus and only one of two ovaries was connected, and I would have a very difficult time conceiving on my own. Read more
S, 40 years old
Early on, my husband and I got pregnant very quickly, but it turned into a blighted ovum. So, I had to have a D&C. We were 34 years old. After that, I started having pain every month that I had never had before. I saw several different OB/GYNs before I moved on to an infertility specialist. Whenever I raised my concerns that things didn't seem right, I was told, "You got pregnant once, you'll get pregnant again." Read more
Early on, my husband and I got pregnant very quickly, but it turned into a blighted ovum. So, I had to have a D&C. We were 34 years old. After that, I started having pain every month that I had never had before. I saw several different OB/GYNs before I moved on to an infertility specialist. Whenever I raised my concerns that things didn't seem right, I was told, "You got pregnant once, you'll get pregnant again." Read more
Laura B
I had just turned 30 when my husband and I started trying to get pregnant. I had no idea it would be such a struggle! At the time, I didn’t know of any friends who had dealt with infertility. Also, my husband was 27 and I was only 30, so I never expected it would be a problem.
To be honest, when I was a young woman, I didn't want to get married and didn't want to have my own children. I always joked that I would be a career woman and "hire a surrogate" when I wanted to have kids. But, after I got married, my mind and heart changed, and I began to desire having my own children. Read more
I had just turned 30 when my husband and I started trying to get pregnant. I had no idea it would be such a struggle! At the time, I didn’t know of any friends who had dealt with infertility. Also, my husband was 27 and I was only 30, so I never expected it would be a problem.
To be honest, when I was a young woman, I didn't want to get married and didn't want to have my own children. I always joked that I would be a career woman and "hire a surrogate" when I wanted to have kids. But, after I got married, my mind and heart changed, and I began to desire having my own children. Read more
Sara, 34 years old
My husband and I were able to conceive our daughter within the first 2 months of trying, so when she turned one and we decided to try for baby #2, we figured it would be just as easy. 9 months later we weren’t having any success and I had this gut feeling something was wrong. My obgyn ran a blood panel and determined that several of my hormones were off balance (low progesterone, high FSH, etc). She performed an HSG procedure to check on my fallopian tubes and we found out that I had a hydrosalpinx left fallopian tube (fluid filled). The combination of the hormonal imbalance and the tubal issues resulted in a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist. Read more
My husband and I were able to conceive our daughter within the first 2 months of trying, so when she turned one and we decided to try for baby #2, we figured it would be just as easy. 9 months later we weren’t having any success and I had this gut feeling something was wrong. My obgyn ran a blood panel and determined that several of my hormones were off balance (low progesterone, high FSH, etc). She performed an HSG procedure to check on my fallopian tubes and we found out that I had a hydrosalpinx left fallopian tube (fluid filled). The combination of the hormonal imbalance and the tubal issues resulted in a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist. Read more
Lisa, 43 years old
I'm 43 years and have been trying to have a baby for 3 years now. I've had 2 failed IUI's, 3 miscarriages (after getting pregnant on my own), and 3 failed IVF cycles with donor eggs. I'm very saddened by all of this. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. Read more
I'm 43 years and have been trying to have a baby for 3 years now. I've had 2 failed IUI's, 3 miscarriages (after getting pregnant on my own), and 3 failed IVF cycles with donor eggs. I'm very saddened by all of this. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. Read more
N, 34 years old
My infertility story starts with my husband's diagnosis with testicular cancer. It was obviously a difficult time for us, but thankfully he is completely healthy and cancer-free. In meeting with all of his doctors, we told all of them that we wanted more children (we had two girls at the time). We asked if the cancer would affect his fertility and if we needed to bank sperm. We were told that it really shouldn't be an issue and there was no need to do so. Fast forward a year later when we decided we were ready to start trying for baby #3. Because I had no issues getting pregnant the first two times, I started to wonder after a few months of trying what could be wrong. Read more
My infertility story starts with my husband's diagnosis with testicular cancer. It was obviously a difficult time for us, but thankfully he is completely healthy and cancer-free. In meeting with all of his doctors, we told all of them that we wanted more children (we had two girls at the time). We asked if the cancer would affect his fertility and if we needed to bank sperm. We were told that it really shouldn't be an issue and there was no need to do so. Fast forward a year later when we decided we were ready to start trying for baby #3. Because I had no issues getting pregnant the first two times, I started to wonder after a few months of trying what could be wrong. Read more
Gena, 38 years old
After 5 months of trying and things weren’t progressing I knew something might be wrong, and given my age, I didn’t want to wait to keep trying for a year (as some doctors recommend). Read more
After 5 months of trying and things weren’t progressing I knew something might be wrong, and given my age, I didn’t want to wait to keep trying for a year (as some doctors recommend). Read more
K, 31 years old
I think for me, I had gotten pregnant and so, I didn’t even think that was on the table. I’d had a miscarriage and I thought I’d just have a couple cycles and try again. I also hoped it would help me heal from the miscarriage. Then, month after month, nothing happened. I got really anxious as I got closer to the one year mark, because I knew that was when the doctor diagnosed infertility. But I can vividly remember going in and doing beginning testing and thinking they were going to say, “You’re fine, everything’s good.” But instead...Read more
I think for me, I had gotten pregnant and so, I didn’t even think that was on the table. I’d had a miscarriage and I thought I’d just have a couple cycles and try again. I also hoped it would help me heal from the miscarriage. Then, month after month, nothing happened. I got really anxious as I got closer to the one year mark, because I knew that was when the doctor diagnosed infertility. But I can vividly remember going in and doing beginning testing and thinking they were going to say, “You’re fine, everything’s good.” But instead...Read more
H, 39 years old
The funny part is that I didn’t know. It had been 6 months since my husband and I had been trying and because of my age at the time (35 going on 36), my OBGYN said to come back if I wasn’t successful within 6 months. So, after 6 months of trying I went back and was immediately sent to a specialist, where we started getting our testing. Read more
The funny part is that I didn’t know. It had been 6 months since my husband and I had been trying and because of my age at the time (35 going on 36), my OBGYN said to come back if I wasn’t successful within 6 months. So, after 6 months of trying I went back and was immediately sent to a specialist, where we started getting our testing. Read more
Christine, 35 years old
I stopped using birth control at our wedding in May, and we decided we would start really trying when we got back from a big trip we had planned in the fall. After a couple of months of trying on our own, we started using ovulation kits to see if that would help. But, they would never turn-I just wasn’t ovulating. Read more
I stopped using birth control at our wedding in May, and we decided we would start really trying when we got back from a big trip we had planned in the fall. After a couple of months of trying on our own, we started using ovulation kits to see if that would help. But, they would never turn-I just wasn’t ovulating. Read more
Liz, 35
I had been married for 5 years by the time I was 27 and honestly wasn't sure I even wanted kids. Then, what seemed like overnight, I decided that I "must have kids NOW." About mid-July, I went off the pill and my periods just stopped. I figured it was related to being on birth control since age 15 and assumed my cycle would eventually return on its own. 6 months later, still nothing. I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist, who immediately referred me to a specialist. Apparently, the next step in her care would have been to prescribe me clomiphene (chlomid), but as she had never given it to anyone without a cycle before, she felt it best to refer me to a higher level of care. I am grateful that she did so, believing it saved us from added months of frustration. Read more
I had been married for 5 years by the time I was 27 and honestly wasn't sure I even wanted kids. Then, what seemed like overnight, I decided that I "must have kids NOW." About mid-July, I went off the pill and my periods just stopped. I figured it was related to being on birth control since age 15 and assumed my cycle would eventually return on its own. 6 months later, still nothing. I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist, who immediately referred me to a specialist. Apparently, the next step in her care would have been to prescribe me clomiphene (chlomid), but as she had never given it to anyone without a cycle before, she felt it best to refer me to a higher level of care. I am grateful that she did so, believing it saved us from added months of frustration. Read more