Miscarriage
Dr. Jessica Zucker
Trauma stains the heart like pomegranate juice on a white linen couch, erupting perspectives and shifting ideas of order. No matter what you attempt to do, it’s there.
I can feel in my body every detail from that day two years ago despite the passage of time. And now, as my 13-month-old daughter comes barreling toward my breasts for comfort and nourishment, I occasionally feel an emotional tug somewhere deep inside.
I’ve come to identity this feeling as a pinch of my soul’s memory, of the girl that wasn’t and the beauty of pain in the mash up of life. Trauma left me living on the outskirts for a while. But as my girl playfully cuddles into my body, I feel a sense of return.
At 16 weeks pregnant I had a life-threatening miscarriage, what I now think of as an unassisted homebirth to a daughter I will never know. As if it wasn’t hard enough to lose this pregnancy, I was dumbfounded by the reactions of those around me, or more accurately, the inactions. Read more
Trauma stains the heart like pomegranate juice on a white linen couch, erupting perspectives and shifting ideas of order. No matter what you attempt to do, it’s there.
I can feel in my body every detail from that day two years ago despite the passage of time. And now, as my 13-month-old daughter comes barreling toward my breasts for comfort and nourishment, I occasionally feel an emotional tug somewhere deep inside.
I’ve come to identity this feeling as a pinch of my soul’s memory, of the girl that wasn’t and the beauty of pain in the mash up of life. Trauma left me living on the outskirts for a while. But as my girl playfully cuddles into my body, I feel a sense of return.
At 16 weeks pregnant I had a life-threatening miscarriage, what I now think of as an unassisted homebirth to a daughter I will never know. As if it wasn’t hard enough to lose this pregnancy, I was dumbfounded by the reactions of those around me, or more accurately, the inactions. Read more
Betsy, 38 years old
I had two miscarriages prior to the birth of our first son. We began “trying” like everyone does with no expectations, but a lot of hopes. I wasn't prepared for it. Not sure if anyone is. I blamed it on so many things. I hadn't taken good enough care of my body. I was too stressed. It must have been that deli sandwich I ate. I was on birth control too long. Or maybe too many years of partying in college. So many factors all with one common denominator: me. Read more
I had two miscarriages prior to the birth of our first son. We began “trying” like everyone does with no expectations, but a lot of hopes. I wasn't prepared for it. Not sure if anyone is. I blamed it on so many things. I hadn't taken good enough care of my body. I was too stressed. It must have been that deli sandwich I ate. I was on birth control too long. Or maybe too many years of partying in college. So many factors all with one common denominator: me. Read more
Liz, 35 years old
My son was conceived via IVF after years of fertility treatments. When he turned one, my husband and I started trying again. We’d heard it was easier to get pregnant after having had a child but this did not seem to be the case for us. But after a few months of trying the fertility treatment route again, we decided to stop trying altogether. My emotional well-being was taking a beating, and I didn't want to go through all that heartache again.
Almost a year later, I was shocked to find out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic, relieved and beyond grateful. But within a week, I started bleeding. And didn’t stop until my OBGYN confirmed my miscarriage. Read more
My son was conceived via IVF after years of fertility treatments. When he turned one, my husband and I started trying again. We’d heard it was easier to get pregnant after having had a child but this did not seem to be the case for us. But after a few months of trying the fertility treatment route again, we decided to stop trying altogether. My emotional well-being was taking a beating, and I didn't want to go through all that heartache again.
Almost a year later, I was shocked to find out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic, relieved and beyond grateful. But within a week, I started bleeding. And didn’t stop until my OBGYN confirmed my miscarriage. Read more